Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon
rupaye fase huye hain.

Larka: aik larki ko chairte huwe

Larka: aik larki ko cherte huwe kahta hai k jan-e-man is dil mai a jao.

Larki: sandil utaroo kia?????Larka:jan-e-man ye dil hai koi masjid nahi sandil pahan kar hi ajao

main tumharey liye sub kuch chor du gi

Girl:mai tumharey liye sub kuch chor du gi
Boy: ma baap
Girl:Yes
Boy: khana penna
Girl: Yes
Boy: sari dunya
Girl: Yes
Boy:Star Plus
Girl: apna mou sambhal kar baat karo…!!!

2-4 patthar nhi chaba sakte?

Husband:
ALLAH ne tumhein 2 aakhen di hain
chaawal se patthar nahi nikal sakti?
WIFE: ALLAH ne tumhe 32 daant diye hai
2-4 patthar nhi chaba sakte?

Khush to bahot hoge tum,

Khush to bahot hoge tum,
Ki forward karne ke liye SMS mil gaya,
Magar aab kya karoge...?
Jab msg me kuch bhi nahi mila...

funny sms

21. Arz kiya hai..... ,

Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai ,

wah wah! wah wah! ,

Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai ,

khafa ho humse ya balance kam hai? ,

ha ha ha ha.....

22. You r my sweet SONA ,

I don't want u KHONA ,

I want a place in your heart's KONA ,

Otherwise i will start RONA ,

Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA

23. Jab i ne U se pyaar kiya ,

to night ko sleeping chor diya ,

tere face ki gentle beauty ne ,

mere kind heart ko phor diya

24. Safed rang ho agar mehboob ka ,

toh mohabbat ki detergent khusbudar nazar aati hai ,

na koi aur hota kharid-dar SURF-EXCEL KA ,

aur na dhulai RIN-SUPREME ki kam nazar aati hai...!!!

25. Promise me we are true friends

I am lamp you are light

I am Coke you are Sprite

I am Sawan you are badal

I am Normal you are Pagal

I am Water you are Tanki

I am Tarzan you are Monkey
26. Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum ,

waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum ,

Doob kar jisme marr jayu vo River ho tum ,

Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum...

27. Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai ,

Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai ,

Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai ,

Bandar jab pass hota hai

28. Apple kat ta hoon knife se ,

Paani peeta hoon pipe se ,

Kya zamana aaa gaya,

Joote khata hoon wife se

29. na tum chat per atin ,

na main deewana hota ,

na tum patthar martin ,

na main kana hota

30. yeh kon sa jaam tum nay hamain piladiya,

is sar phiray ka sara system hiladiya

31. meray marnay kay baad meray doston yun ansoo na bahana ,

agar yaad aye to seedhay upar chalay ana

32. Woh ladki kitni pyaari thi, jis ko aankh maari thi ,

Woh sendal kitni bhaari thi, jo us ney sar per maari thi

33. Shahrukh khan jo is dharti pey aya ,

hum to kya, khuda bi pashtaya

34. Aur bhi bohat si cheezin lut chuki hain dil k sath ,

yeh bataya doston ne ishq farmane k baad ,

isliye kamre ki aik aik cheez check karta hon ,

aik tere aney se pehle aur aik tere jane k baad

35. Kamaata nahin hun itni ke tujhe roze khilaoon ,

Aaati hai to aaa ja, ya kisi aur ko pataooon

36. ise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi ,

Jise pyar kiya woh italy chali gayi ,

Dil ne kaha khud kushi(sucide) kar le zalim ,

Bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi

37. TERI JULF HAI YA ANDHERI RAAT KA SAAYA ,

TERI JULF HAI YA ANDHERI RAAT KA SAAYA ,

SAR MUNDWA LE TO SAVERA HO JAI.

38. Kaaash ke tere chehre par Chickenpox ke daag hote..... ,

Kaaash ke tere chehre par chickenpox ke daag hote..... ,

Chand to tu hai hi ..sitaare bhee saaath hote

39. Wo larayeee hi kya JISME DO CHAAR Gaaliyan na ho ..... ,

ARE Wo SASURAAL HI kya jahan koi Saali na ho!!

40. yeh degree bhi lelo ye naukari bhi lelo ,

Bhale Chheen lo mujhse US ka Visa ,

magar mujhko lauta do college ki canteen ,

vo kam chaay ka pani vo teeKha samosaa,

college ki canteen me hum sab the raja,

41. kadi dhoop mein apne ghar se nikalnaa ,

vo project ki Khatir shahar bhar bhataknaa ,

vo lecture mein doston ki proxy lagaanaa ,

vo sar ko chidhanaa ,

vo aeroplane udaanaa ,

vo submission ki raton ko jagnaa jagaanaa ,

vo orals ki khahani vo Lab-on ka kissaa....

42. vo ladkiyon ka yuhin hamesha akadnaa ,

bhulaaye nahin bhool sakta hai koi ,

jivan ka ek atoot hissaa... ,

vo college ki yaaden, vo college ke din ,

koi to louta de mere college ke din........

43. Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,

gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,

tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri,

tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.

44. Kya aankheiN hain aapki,

kya baatein hain aapki..

us khuda ne kuch aisa aapko bnaya hai... ,

maano..."Shhhsss...KOI Hai" se bhoot nikal aaya hai....

45. Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de ,

tarap raha hu ab aur na intzaar de ,

Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna ,

Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de

funny sms

1. how can i spell s_ccess widout U?or C_TE? or _NIQ_E?ican't even hav F_N or any good L_CK widout U looks like i jus can't S_RVIVE wid out U?

2. chand pe kali ghata chahti ti hogi,sitaron ko muskarahat aati to hogi tum lakh chupao dunia se magar akele main tumhain apni shakal pe hansi aati to hogi.

3. whn u get dis sms send it 2 1 person u love,1 u hate,1 u always thnk of & 1 u wish 2 kill..now keep guessin y i sent it 2 U.

4. majnu ko laila ka sms naheen aaya,

majnu ne 3 din se khana naheen khaya majnu marne wala tha laila ke piyar main aur laila bethee thi sms free honeke intizaar main.

5. i was waitin da nite to see da moon it didn't appear so i called da sky 2 ask where da moon is? It told me da moon is readin ur msg:)

6. dia hai upper waley ne mobile to itnee to kadar kia kero karo na karo call per her roz do char sms to kia kero

7. Yaad hai hum pehli baar kahan miley they...train ruki.......khidki khuli.......

nazron se nazren mili .........aur app ne kaha ..........Allah ke naam pe dede BABA:-D

8. dil main aik shor sa ho rahah hai bina sms dil bor ho raha hai kaheen aisa to naheen aik piyara sa dost hum se door ho raha hai

9. Yeh tumhara SULAGTA hua JISM ...KAPKAPATAY HONT....LARKHARATI AAWAZ...THARTHARATA BADAN ...mujhe pehle se shuq tha ke tumhain MALARIA HAI.....

10. Teri aankain jhuki jhuki tera chehra khila khila jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya to aadha kilo fair & lovely mila

11. TUSI bade hi gr8 ho, RASGULLE ki pl8 ho, PEPSI ka cr8 ho, ANDE ka oml8 ho, SMS KARNE ME bare le8 ho, JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho, KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!

12. Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,

Masjid mein adaab karta hoon,

Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun ,

isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon

13. Child : - Mohit uncle mujhe na Bandar dekhna hai Mohit : - Beta vo abhi SMS padh raha hai.

14. Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai, gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai, tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri, tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.

15. Jis mehfil mein hum khade ho jaaye , waha Haritik bhi jhukta hai , Kaho Na Pyaar Hai , Kya mooh dukhta hai

16. Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya , Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya , Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya

17. Kaun sa gham hai jo yeh haal bana rakha hai , na to makeup hai, na baalon ko sajaa rakha hai, aur khama-kha cherti rehti hai yeh rukhsaaron ko , Tum ne zulfon ko bohut sar pe chara rakha hai

18. Jis din se juda vo humse hue , is dil ne dharkna chor diya , hai chaand ka mooh bhi utra utra , taaro ne chamkna chor diya

19. Kon kehta hai dost ki tumse humari judaai hogi , yeh afwaah zaroor kissi dushman ne uraayi hogi , shaan se rahenge tumahre dil mein hum , itne dino mein kuch to jagah banayi hogi

20. Vo likhte hain humara naam mitti mein , aur mita dete hain, Unke liye ye khel hoga , magar hume to vo mitti mein mila dete hain...

cricket

:A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring
that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.


The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.

When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and
learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody of the boy to the Indian Cricket Team, whom the boy firmly believes is not capable of beating anyone. ... »

bindaas bol

Kya bindas hava chal rahi hai, birdy gaana ga rahe hain,
Cow log grass eat rahe hain,
shaane log SMS kar rahe hain
aur dhakkan log SMS padh rahe hain.

laloo in plane

airhostes to laloo: R U a,
vegetarian or non-vegetarian sir?
laloo:i m a saggitarian!
airhostes:sir aap
mansahari hain ya shakahari?
laloo: hum to BIHARI hain ....!

shah jahan

shah jahan ne taj mahal
ki har ek deewar ko dekha,
har minar ko dekha,
har kaleen ko dekha ,
har taraf se dekha ,
aur haskar bola ...,
areee yaar mazaak- mazaak me,
bahut kharcha hogaya!!!

chand se puccha

maine puccha chand se,
"dekha hai kahin mere,
yaar sa hasin".
chand ne kaha ,"gadhe khude zoot
bol raha hai aur mujse kyui zoot bulva raha hai.

Romantic Earthquake

suraj hua madham ,
chand chalne laga ,
aasama bhi hai ,
koi machale ne laga ,
sajna kya yehi pehla pehla pyaar hai??
nalayak,yeh pyaar nahi EARTHQUAKE hai !!
bhaag!

osama bin laden

osama bin laden's
favourite song :
"main nikla ,plane leke,o
ek mode aaya ,
main W.T.C. tod aaya ...

zor ka zatka dhree se lage

jise dil diya wo,
delhi chali gayi,
jise pyeer kiya wo italy ,
chali gayi.
kudhakushi karne chala ,
kabth bijali chali gayi.

khuda kare

khuda kare tera mobile kho jaye.
mile mujhe aur mera hojaye .
karu SMS ladkion ko ,
naam tera aae.
maar tujhe paade aur dil mera bhar aae.

baap re baap

beta bola :papa mujhe bandar dekhna hai.
papa bole:Nahi bete ,abhi nahin.
Beta bola: par kyon nahi?papa
papa bole: bete abhi bander jokes padh raha hai.

good dogi

can u pronounce good english:-read along
bow,wow,mow,bow,wow,mow
bow,wow,mow,bow,wow,mow
bow,wow,mow,bow,wow,mow
bow,wow,mow,bow,wow,mow
test results :u r a good,
dog . now stop barking.

akal badhi ki bhains

Akal badhi ki bhains?
"Circuit- Bhai ye bata Akal badhi ki bhains?
Munna Bhai- Pehele apun ko date of birth bata tabhi to bataega tereku, aisehi
khali peeli time khoti karta hai sala."
"What is Ford?
Munna Bhai- Gaadi BAP aur kya?
What is Oxford?
Munna Bhai- BOLE TO Bail Gaadi BAP, itna bhi nahi janta!"
"Circuit- Apun ka Bapu bahut shana tha BAP, sher ke pinjre me ghus gaya !
Munnai Bhai- Bahar kaise nikla re?
Circuit- Waich tou lafda bapu bahar nahi nikla!"
"Circuit- Tu pareshan kyun hai? Munna Bhai- Sale mai bap banne wala hai!
Circuit starts dancing.
Munna Bhai- Nachna band kar sale, teri Bhabi ka bacha nahi hai."
"Lady Dr- Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade hokar auraton ko kyun ghoorte ho?
Circuit- Bai ji aapichh wahan likhe na - Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am"

bill gates love story

Bill Gates and Madhuri Dixit
If Bill Gates marries Madhuri Dixit; these could be the caption in newspapers:
Bill goes Dhak-Dhak!
English Babu Desi Mem.
Windows ke peechhe kya hai? Windows ke peechhe....!? Ooo Windows mein Bill hai mera...
The next version of Windows will be "Windows MD."
Microsoft Mouse V/S Madhuri - the cat.
Bill to count his millions & billions in EK, DO, TEEN..
Mera bill bhee kitna pagal hai...
Bill Will, Gates Wates... Main kya jaanu re... !